This past Monday I arrived to Thunder Bay apprehensive and discouraged. I was shuffled into my apartment without Internet access or a phone, belly growling furiously, and with unfamiliar faces and landscapes urging me to take the next flight back to Toronto. I didn't enjoy the cold, windy or the cloudy skies. I didn't like that my room smelled like musty boxes and that the kitchen lacked a stove. Most of all, I didn't like that back in sunny, warm and friendly Ottawa my friends were laughing and planning their next few weeks without me.
You could say I was homesick. This is very unusual for me as I've travelled plenty before and not once have I really ever craved home as much as I did upon landing in Thunder Bay. I'm not sure what set off the series of emotions but I swallowed my pride, changed into my monochromatic 'professional' attire and set off to my first hour of training.
I am in Thunder Bay going through a three week intensive Fitness and Group Exercise Management Training program. It was an unexpected three weeks in Northern Ontario which will provide me with the essential tools and development to be successful in management, leadership and business in the fitness industry. I am working alongside industry pioneers, leaders and incredible athletes who all have a thing or two to teach me.
I settled into my first few hours in Thunder Bay very poorly. I struggled with the idea of being in a relatively small and remote place with no Internet, car, friends or ability to cook for the next 21 days of my life. I was overwhelmed by the experience about to take place and lacked the comfort and encouragement from my essential support system of my family, friends and my main squeeze. Before I signed off for the night, I spoke with Adrian over the Internet, on the verge of tears and with apprehension and worry filling my thoughts. We both knew my behaviour was uncharacteristic and I shouldn't really be feeling this way so we agreed to wait another day to speak again and see if things brightened up. And that they did.
The next day when we spoke, I'm even surprised he recognized the same woman at the other end of the line. This time my voice declared confidence, excitement, enthusiasm, inquisitive thought, rationalism and even peaceful happiness. What changed? Well, I did - I became myself again. But not without help.
Tuesday morning I had the opportunity to meet with my mentor, let's call him Tim. I've heard about Tim, been told of his wisdom and incredible knowledge in regards to management strategies, but I could hardly actualize the reality of all the praise bestowed onto him. In the initial three hours I sat down and spoke with Tim, my whole experience began to reshape itself. He dug into my subconscious and into my character and uncovered within me my strengths and weakness and presented them all for me to consider. More significantly Tim introduced me to the idea that I was exceptional. Naturally, I rolled my eyes and although was flattered, couldn't see the truth in his statement. Sure, I've done some unusual and brave things, but am I really all that great?
Explaining that I was grateful for his praise and admiration, I still hesitated to accept the idea. Tim turned to me in his chair and said something along the lines of:
You have the drive - I don't know where it comes from but what matters is you have it. You know you can be the best spouse, the best manager, the best artist, the best friend.
He inhaled sharply and stood up facing the back of the room.
If you want to be the best, you can.
He paused and turned to face me.
.....but what does it take?
I stopped thinking about everything else and seriously considered this idea. What does it take? How many times have I, or anyone for that matter, have wanted and aspired to do something but stopped upon discovering the overwhelmingly large, discouraging and seemingly impossible task of achieving that desire. Those who are the best of what they do see that impossible task and set forth on breaking it down bit by bit until they uncover their full potential and release it upon the world. It seems so simple but the task of being able to train yourself to embark on that quest is immense and complex.
Tim explained that my time in Thunder Bay will help me uncover the tools, techniques and practice to be able to be the best I can be in every aspect of my life. He opened my eyes to the limitless possibilities available to me to uncover while in this unfamiliar place. Thunder Bay now became a place of perfect opportunity, bountiful unexplored landscapes and incredible people filled with knowledge, experience and expertise who were willing and able to let me pick their brain and share their insight.
I spoke to Adrian that Tuesday evening a different woman. No I didn't have a breakthrough or a life changing experience, but simply I was myself again. That confident me who I temporarily lost. The strong woman who was motivated, goal oriented, enthusiastic, full of laughs and energy and held her head proud and high was re-introduced with exceptional force. And this time she realized that she was exceptional and chosen to be part of this program for a reason and she understood why.
Sure, I still wish I was in Ottawa experiencing the many things I will be missing this week (gorgeous Sarah's birthday celebrations, dear Annie's Stag and Doe, Jill's friend filled birthday, Kate's incredible first 10k race and Brent's wonderful presentation of The Spirit of the Marathon), but I realize that the way I choose to consider and value my time here will be a direct reflection of how easily I navigate down my path to becoming the best.
In the meantime, I will continue to learn and grow as an individual. Not to mention my biceps and appetite growing - living in a gym is great (my apartment in on the 2nd floor of a gym) but it poses a threat to my desire to sit and watch movies and maintain a relatively moderate appetite.
I will continue to keep you posted on my adventures in Northern Ontario and hopefully with some pictures soon!
Yours in health,
Jenna
